Struggling With Body Image -Mia

All my life I have struggled with my relationship with food. It got to be it's worst when I entered high school.

Seeing all of the skinny, beautiful, popular girls made me self conscious, and I began to throw up all of my meals. I would allow myself a bottle of water and a single stick of gum per day that I would keep down. Everything else I would eat came back up.

For months this went on undetected by my friends and family. No one thought it was weird how I would immediately excuse myself to the bathroom after I ate.

About 6 months after my eating disorder began, my parents started to ask me questions. They would ask questions like "Have you eaten today?", "Are you hungry?", "When was the last time I saw you eat?". I would always answer with a yes.

I wasn't noticing any changes in myself. Every time I looked in the mirror I saw my ugly, fat self, not the skinny, popular girl I wanted so badly to be.

Seeing all of the skinny, beautiful, popular girls made me self conscious

This continued undetected for another couple months. I was home one day and had just eaten a big, big meal and I was in the bathroom throwing up when my parents pulled into the driveway. I didn't hear the truck or the door, so when they came down the hall they saw me. I had not yet cleaned up all of the food so they could see everything.

They immediately took me to the hospital. There I was asked what felt like thousands of questions, such as, "How long has this been going on?", "Is there anyone you have told?", "What started this?". I don't remember how long I was there for or everything that happened, but it helped me in the end.

When I was finally able to go home, my parents monitored me and my eating habits. Over the course of the the next couple of months I went to therapy. Talking to someone really helped me to realize that my thought process was irrational and that there was nothing wrong with the way I looked.

If you are struggling with an eating disorder of any kind please get help. You are not alone in this battle.